LOOK WHO's BACK!

I shouldn't be here anyway, Ive got to finish an environmental essay that's due in for tomorrow!  Anyway, I got out of college after lunch today, apparently my maths teacher was sick. poor man.

I went shopping today because I was way out of my comfort zone. That's about it.

and Im here waiting for someone to go online. Then Im off.

just to let you know, IM ALIVE. (man, my  last entry was the day I turned 19. Im now 20 yrs and 19 days old!)

just had an ok day at work at the hospital today. it wasn't too busy, there'd be times when we just actually sit around and chat. it was pretty straight forward. but I dont know if that's a good thing though... coz to be honest Id rather have all the shitty bits now and actually slave my way through it than later. today was calm, so probably the worst is yet to come...

I was at the medical observation unit today and I got to work alongside this girl currently at level 2. She was ok, I guess I owe it to her, the fact that now I am more comfortable with approaching awkward situations... after a few rounds at the unit I was told to wash a patient by myself. He was a nice bloke... I felt kind of squeamish at the sight of his private bits and the alarmingly intense aroma that came from down below as well. but tough, I had to get to it... scrub scrub scrub and Ill get you clean and fresh in a jiffy!

I love the thanking part. The great effort you put into it is well justified with sweet sweet acknowledgements. bless them all.

I got to wash this patient who had a really bad bowel problems. It was absolutely vile, but then again, tough. I feel sorry for her as well, if I was in her place Id never make it through. bless her strong self.

Its funny how it starts as something that you are expected to do, to something that you feel you must do as a person. It just attaches you to that caring side of yours. not even minding your own safety, just as long as you get them nice and comfortable...

I honestly can't tell if I liked the job or not. for one thing its just the beggining there will be more to come so its too early. Now, I would really like to say that it was a good day, but I choose not too coz Im extremely, overly exhausted. I just couldn't balance them out. The pain puts me off to saying I liked it, coz Im in great amounts of it just now. reaaaaally. 

Happy Birthday to meeee!

...but I got to say this must be the saddest birthday I had so far.

To someone really special to me, when we had a talk while we were stuck in the traffic and I said I'll always feel the same way for you, I wasn't lying. Though now I have realized that I should stop and resist. All those nights I've spent with you in the past were amazing, and I never could have wanted more than what we had. I have got to stop pretending that there will be chances for us. coz there won't be any. I know of this, but uncertain. However I've got to use my mind now. My heart has done way too much work for you. 

to that someone I do care for alot, Thank you. I just wish you were here.

I know you shouldn't be here but hey, might as well. I know you don't care anymore but I just wanna say I miss you.

I love you to my dad and my brother.

To my tita baby and tito philip, the rest of those who thought I betrayed my dad... I wish you knew what I know, see what I still see, feel every single pain I've went through... I just hope you get to see it through my point. You'd see how unfair it was to judge us like that.

Thanks to my friends. I do love you so muchhh. You all keep my life worth living for.

Gary, special mention! thanks for the gifts, the wine was very good :) See you saturday.

To my tito vincent, thank you for calling, enjoy puerto gallera, Im well jealous!

Bhest, Talk soon, I miss you.

Michelle, thanks for the call, Ill try to hold my vaca til the 25th so I can meet your gorge boyfriend. lol.

Holly, thanks as well, saturday will be fun :)

Rob, the hand shake was a bit professional for a bday greeting but nevertheless, thank youu!

Steve, thanks too :)

Lisa hunny, Thank you.. just say whenever you want to go for that drink. Please try to come on saturday, Im skint as well but there u go, dont let it stop you from having fun!

Sarah, Jo and Kelly, Thanks for the greeting :) I'll see you on the hospital wards soon! lol.

Para sayo naman, Salamat.

Sorry if I've left anyone to mention. I am really grateful I have you all. Thank you so much :)

Anyway, a big big thanks to my mum and my uncle, my sister for my party and all who came, and will be coming on saturday night for my extended bash. ;)

19. The last of my teenage years. lol. Well I just hope for a better year ahead. Last year was a blast, the best year of my life so far. A big Thank You to God. Without you none of the best and the worst would even happen. Thank you, sincerely. :)

Well it has been ages since I wrote an entry.. truth is most of the time I just can't be assed to do so, even if I had all the time in the world. Just can't be bothered. I thought about shutting this down coz I don't see the point of maintainin this if I can't keep up. or won't. eh?

but lets give it another go, if this site comes to an end.. then it will. If not, then no.

I am going out tonight, at last! See it's best when you don't give too much pressure on yourself to let yourself out into the big big world. The best events are unplanned, I think. See before its always, "its the weekend, I have to go out." but nah... it shouldn't work that way, should it. Now that I don't give a puff about my weekends I get invited to parties and night outs, even a chilled night on a local pub with a few friends... it just kept comming and now its like whatever happens... happens. great, innit.

It was a pretty good week this week, it wasn't a drag like "ohh Im off to work again.." or sumthin like that.. It was weirdly fun coz eventhough I got tired, resting was the last thing on my mind. It felt like I had to keep it on coz it was just great having to enjoy every moment, even the not so significant moments count.

Anyway I might have to stop here coz I don't know what else to say, plus I still don't know what to wear! the endless rummage of clothing begins! I know this doesn't make any sense, you all must be like "what a comeback, woohoo."

...but the point that I might be trying to make is that life is what you make it, happiness is your choice, and that maybe we should cut back on great but a little bit grand expectations, just go with the flow... everything will work out fine. and fun.